El Burro Volador

Recent developments have raised the surreality quotient around here.  For one thing, Rebekah has been dog/house sitting for a week now, which entails her sleeping elsewhere.  Although the overprotective pet owners she does this for pay her well for her time, it has the effect of bachelorizing me and orphaning the cats (though not Clem, who is her own support network), since Rebek is home for maybe two hours a day.

The absence of our home’s bright, shining center makes the cats incredibly clingy.  As I write this, Cleo is draped across my shoulders, a position she crawled into, with much scrabbling on her part and many muttered imprecations on mine.  She has been preceded this morning by Gypsy, whose awkward attempts to snuggle are rendered poignant by the fact that neither of us really like each other.

I too have decayed at an alarming rate, like a building abandoned in the jungle one week and discovered as a vine-choked ruin the next.  I’ve stopped shaving, stopped sleeping, and the last time I saw my pants was when Clem ran off with them two days ago – since then I’ve just been wrapping a towel around my waist before I go to work each day, but how long I can keep this up is anyone’s guess.

In addition, I am embarking on a new career.  Like most new careers, it will involve extensive making of good impressions upon potential employers/clients.  Now, I am pretty insecure about my appearance, mostly due to my weight.  While I was merely “soft” at my wedding, I have steadily let myself get heavier in the years since, until recently I’ve found myself parked firmly in “frickin’ porker” territory.  I decided that this had to change if I was going to possess the necessary aura of confidence to win new clients, so I started a diet.

I have tried various formulas for weight loss before, but none have ever worked as well for me in the long term as exercise and the Atkins diet, so that is what I’ve gone back to.  I’ll probably post more about it in a couple days, assuming ‘Bekah comes back and halts the our slide